It was one of those days, when the sky was perfectly clear and the sun was ridiculously bright. Just by looking the world would seem to be a warm and inviting place. In the reality of standing amiss the bright light it was frigidly cold. The wind would hit it gust so violent that your very soul was knocked out of you. I scurried from my car, battling the mischievous wind to keep my skirt from flying up. Any onlooker watching would see a much less graceful version of Marilyn Monroe. Finally I reached the doors of a familiar restaurant and entered.
I was here in part monthly ritual concocted years ago in which my three closest friends and I would meet for lunch or dinner no matter what. When they (being all three since I was apparently the last to arrive) saw me, a clamor of squealing and laughter arouse to greet me. I hugged and politely said hello to everyone then sat in the remaining chair at the table. We ordered our food before commencing to talk.
Janet, not able to contain herself, started talking about her upcoming wedding that we all were already aware of. Her fiancée had proposed no less that a month ago. I happily listened as she blabbered about color schemes and dreamy marital plans. Kelsey was next talking about her job, then Hannah about how her houses seems to be falling apart with a recent termite infestation. Janet turned to me and commented that I was awfully quiet today. I shrugged. Hannah asked me, "So how's life going for you?"
I smiled on the outside. Inside I reflected on how terrible I really felt. This past month a multitude of small incidents seemed to conspire against me. I felt so frustrated with myself as I go through the daily grind of life. I feel like I'm going nowhere, that all this effort I put into making a better future is hopeless. I don't remember what the epicenter of this quake of misery was. I just feel the aftershocks. I looked into the eyes of my friends, with a feeling that they would not understand especially since I don't completely understand. Nobody likes a whiner.
I took a sip of iced tea and said, "I'm doing good."
I took a sip of iced tea and said, "I'm doing good."
2 comments:
Nice one. I think we've all told that kind of lie at some time or other.
I think that is the quintessential lie in our culture. How many of us say we are fine when we aren't, because we feel we won't be understood?
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