Things You Shouldn't Write on a Card

Ah, Valentines Day, the official day of material affection.  Numerous cards, flowers, and chocolates are exchanged between sweethearts on this day and many people find it a swell time to get engaged or married.  Commercials and ads are in full swing suggesting that their product will be the best gift for your valentine.

What I find unappealing about this whole charade is how unoriginal it all is.  It's like one giant cliché in a 24-hour period.  There are 324 other days that are probably way more meaningful to you and that special someone than February the 14th.  Aside from everyone deciding to be especially affectionate on the same day, they are all doing it the same way: Roses, chocolate, balloons, teddy bears, hearts, cupids, red and pink everywhere, ect.  Bleh

However, if you must do something on Valentines Day, please try to put your own twist on it.  Cards are the easiest things that can be very personal.  You can hand make them and write what ever you desire.  There is an art to card writing.  A good card is brief, poetic, personal, and heartwarming.  I've written up a few examples of what you shouldn't write in a card.: 

·    Sweet heart, you are so lucky to be my Valentine.

·    Roses are red . . . you know the rest

·    We are meant for each other, like a criminal in prison.

·    There are a lot of fish in the ocean but you aren't a fish. You're more like a really awesome dog.

·    I almost forgot to send this card, but my e-calendar reminds me of these little things.

·    You are the most beautiful person, on the outside.

·    I believe that love is the romanticization of the chemical reaction responsible for the procreation of our species.  I would be delusional if I said I love you, but I truly want to procreate with you.

·    You are worth a lot to me, especially your wallet

·    I owe all my joy to you and $5 for this card and the chocolates

·    I'm not inspired enough to write this card myself, that is why I bought a pre written Hallmark card to express how much I care for you.

·    Love is definitely blind

Any ways, on a serious note, your card, for whatever holiday would mean a lot more to someone the more personal it is.  If you're reading my blog you more or less likely to be a writer/ poet so this shouldn't be so hard.  Write up a memory of when you first met or a poem or if you're more artistically inclined draw something.  Make it something that only you can do and means something to the other person.  Sometimes the best gift is you.  Spending time together could be worth more than any object.

Happy Early Valentines Day,

Mandy Calvin

Do you have any (appropriate) funny things that shouldn't be in a card?  If you do please share them in the comments.